Are you there God, it’s me Amy!!!!!
I’m frustrated! I’m not sure what kind of life lesson you
are trying to teach me at this point, I feel no epiphanies coming on….. just
the overwhelming urge to bang my head up against the wall. I know I have an awesome life, a great home
and the most wonderful family ever. You’ve
been good to me and I’ve tried to show my devotion by giving as much of myself
as I could.
I accept the fact that I’m genetically challenged being of
both a German and Dutch background. BUT
I’m working my ass off here. 5 out of 7
days a week, I am doing two-a-days (Crossfit and cardio). Last month I only took one day completely off
from exercise. I’m eating Paleo and feeling
better than I ever have before. I’ve
lost my cravings for luxurious foods realizing eating is for energy and not for
pleasure. I’ve given up beer, and we both know how much I love beer. Each time
I hop on the scale though, it doesn’t budge.
Why? I don’t want to look like a
potato….I want to be lean and mean and fast!
I work out far more than anyone I know.
What gives? If I didn’t work out, would I be bed-ridden and the subject
of one of those ridiculous shows where they use a crane to excise someone from
their house?
Am I supposed to be learning patience? Or perhaps Perseverance?
I can’t possibly be a role model when I
am nowhere closer to my goal than I was 4 weeks ago. (I know, a 5lb weight loss
is good, but it’s not GREAT)
I don’t like feeling discouraged and I don’t like the mood that
inhabits my head right now. I’m better
than this. Maybe my goals are too grandiose but I’m going to continue to battle
against middle-age, my slow metabolism and lack of energy. I can only hope to
one day look in the mirror and be completely satisfied and wiser having learned
something about myself along the way.
No comments:
Post a Comment